Some amazing stuff happened over this past weekend. Besides the people scrambling for last minute gifts and the teaser trailer for Avengers: Doomsday dropping alongside the premiere of Avatar: Fire and Ash, we had football! This week saw shakeups to the playoff race, tickets punched, and more teams eliminated. Here is who was already eliminated going into this week: Chiefs, Giants, Titans, Raiders, Saints, Cardinals, Commanders, Falcons, Browns, Jets, Bengals, Vikings, Dolphins. While “experts” continue to struggle to imagine life without the Chiefs (“Good grief…”), let’s dive into what happened with the NFL on the “Edge of Week Seventeen…” (yes, that is a very cleverly worded Stevie Nicks reference, thank you…).
RAMS 37 – SEAHAWKS 38 (OT)
Christmas came early for the Seattle Seahawks as they overcame a 16-point deficit to stun the hometown Los Angeles Rams to take control of the NFC and the NFC West division. It was a good effort by Matthew Stafford, who is faultless in this loss, as he completed 29 of 49 passes for 457 yards and three touchdowns. The Seahawks have the edge for now, but they face two difficult opponents in the next two weeks: the Panthers and the 49ers. We’ll have to see if they can hold on to that lead, starting next week on the road against the Panthers. As for the Rams, this didn’t go as planned, and there’s an obvious explanation for it: no Davante Adams. Despite having Puka Nacua, Adams has emerged as the go-to guy for red zone targets, and it would have helped down the stretch to have him and Nacua attack this surprisingly vulnerable Seahawk defense. The Rams will need to win out to finish the year to get better playoff positioning, starting with a Monday Night Football matchup against the Falcons.
EAGLES 29 – COMMANDERS 18
The defending champion Philadelphia Eagles ensured that what happened to the Chiefs didn’t happen to them. Their victory over the Washington Commanders punched the Eagles’ ticket to return to the playoffs and clinched the NFC East title. (Note: this victory also eliminates the Cowboys from playoff contention.) Jalen Hurts completed 22 of his 30 passes for 185 yards and two touchdowns. It has been a boon for the Eagles to have played lesser teams in the closing weeks of the season after a disappointing stretch against playoff-bound teams (including their heartbreaking loss to the Chargers). It remains to be seen if the Eagles intend to push for the No. 1 seed or rest their players during the next few weeks. Their next opponent is the Bills. As for the Commanders, boy…what else can go wrong? Marcus Mariota went down and what’s left of the Commanders’ offense came to a screeching halt. The offensive line needs upgrades during the offseason to prevent this kind of season from happening again. Because this rematch of last year’s NFC Championship did NOT live up to the hype any of us were expecting (especially if you’re a Commanders fan…for which you have my sympathies if you are one…). The Commanders play the Cowboys next on Christmas Day on Netflix.
PACKERS 16 – BEARS 22 (OT)
HOLY MOLE HOLES! Caleb Williams either needs to be recruited by Hogwarts or Doctor Strange, because the man has performed serious magic this season. Somehow, the Chicago Bears pulled a victory once again from the jaws of defeat over their bitter rivals, the Green Bay Packers. I have family who are Bears fans who were over the moon when we watched it live for our family Christmas party (for those of you in my friend circle who are Packers fans, my sympathies). Williams delivered in the clutch with 250 passing yards and two touchdowns. The Bears are heading for the playoffs and can even grab, not just the division, but the No. 1 seed in the NFC. The Bears go toe-to-toe next week with a stingy 49ers team on Sunday Night Football. As for the Packers, if there is anything worse than losing a game you controlled for most of regulation…it’s losing a game you controlled for most of regulation to the Bears. The Packers are no longer in control of their fate for the division, and the number of playoff spots are dwindling fast. The Packers must regroup next Saturday against the Ravens, and they may have to do it without Jordan Love (who left the Bears game with a concussion).
CHARGERS 34 – COWBOYS 17
Before the game, the Dallas Cowboys and their fans got their hearts broken by the news: they had finally been eliminated playoff contention with the Eagles’ victory over the Commanders. They went out and played like they usually do, only to get devastated by the hometown Los Angeles Chargers. Despite still having that injured left hand, star Justin Herbert looked just fine. Herbert had a nearly flawless performance, completing 23 of 29 passes for 300 yards and two touchdowns, as well as rushing it himself for 42 yards and another touchdown. The Chargers’ offense seems to be finding its stride at long last. If they and the defense can keep it together, the Chargers still have a shot at the division title. They will be tested against the Texans next Saturday. As for the Cowboys, it’s back to the drawing board this next offseason. It’s clear that trading Micah Parsons did their defense no favors. In the long run, it will help with the extra draft picks…but not this season. They’ll begin the “lame duck” portion of their season in earnest next week against the Commanders on Christmas Day exclusively on Netflix.
BENGALS 45 – DOLPHINS 21
In this battle of two teams already eliminated from playoff contention, the Cincinnati Bengals routed the Miami Dolphins. Joe Burrow threw for 309 yards and four touchdowns. It looks like the Bengals defense has the capacity for greater improvement for next season. That would be a welcome sign after how terrible this season has been. They’ll play the Cardinals next week. As for the Dolphins, Quinn Ewers didn’t light the world on fire in his first NFL start, but we’ve seen worse. We’ll see how he responds if he gets another start. The Dolphins play a pretty ticked off Buccaneers team next week.
CHIEFS 9 – TITANS 26
No, this is not a typo. Without Patrick Mahomes and with no chance at the playoffs, the once mighty Kansas City Chiefs were utterly destroyed at the hands of…the Tennessee Titans?? (HOLY MOLE HOLES!) Cam Ward looked like a seasoned star, completing 21 of 28 passes for 228 yards and two touchdowns. This was undoubtedly Ward’s best game of the season. Despite the win putting the No. 1 draft pick a little more out of reach, this victory gives hope to the Titans’ future. The Titans face the Saints next week. As for the Chiefs, the loss exposed serious issues with the Chiefs’ roster. Instead of giving the younger players some game experience, Andy Reid stuck to his veterans, but it wasn’t enough to salvage a win even against the rebuilding Titans. The announcement of the Chiefs’ move doesn’t cover the fact that the Chiefs are in serious trouble for next season. They’ll play the Broncos next on Christmas Day on Prime Video.
BUCCANEERS 20 – PANTHERS 23
This was the best game of the weekend. Both teams, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Carolina Panthers, have only one path to the playoffs: win the division title. With both teams scheduled to play against each other twice in these last three weeks of the season, things are expected to get heated. After this, round one went to the Panthers in a close win over the Buccaneers. Bryce Young managed to outduel Baker Mayfield. Young finished with 191 passing yards and two touchdowns while Mayfield had 145 passing yards, a touchdown, and an interception. This was the biggest win for the Panthers since days of Cam Newton. They’ll need to play the Buccaneers one more time, but they have the advantage for now. They play the Seahawks next week. As for the Buccaneers, they are in must-win mode now. They’re not out yet, but this is a very precarious position. If they lose next week to the Dolphins, it could be the end of the line for the Buccaneers.
BILLS 23 – BROWNS 20
This would have been the upset of the YEAR if the Cleveland Browns pulled this off. Unfortunately, they couldn’t claw their way back to beat the Buffalo Bills. It was surprising to see Josh Allen come up with a goose egg; only 130 passing yards and no touchdowns. You would think that, after years of languishing in the Chiefs’ shadow, the Bills would emerge as the favorite to win the Super Bowl. Wrong. Their defense has been their Achilles hell all season, and it hasn’t inspired confidence at all. They have a date next week against the defending champion Eagles. As for the Browns, we all thought Shedeur Sanders was on to something not long ago when he had his great performance against the Raiders. Then, a certain idiot (who shall not be named) had to open his mouth and jinxed it. (Fun fact, there may be a new jinx to affect NFL teams: having a Hallmark movie made about them. Don’t believe me? Look at the Chiefs and the Bills…) Point is, Sanders has a long way to go to make it in the NFL. The Browns play the Steelers next week.
VIKINGS 16 – GIANTS 13
Even though both of these teams are already eliminated and have nothing to play for…this was just sad. The Minnesota Vikings won the war of mediocrity against the New York Giants. The quarterback stats are just abysmal, and I can’t even mention it. Let’s highlight someone else. Justin Jefferson had one of his best games of the year (after suffering through this miserable quarterback situation) with six catches for 85 receiving yards. This hasn’t made the Vikings front office more assured of JJ McCarthy’s ability to lead the team in the future (not to mention he has become injury prone as he is out again due to a hairline fracture in his hand). I did hear one idea that doesn’t sound so bad: they could see if they could trade for the 49ers’ backup, Mac Jones. Despite him washing out with the Patriots, I’d be willing to give him another shot since he’s done well filling in for Brock Purdy (Jefferson definitely deserves a better quarterback). The Vikings play the Lions on Christmas Day on Netflix. As for the Giants, same thing: I’m not sold on their quarterback. If you scroll back up, you’ll see I declined to state the passing yards for either quarterback. That’s because, and I can’t believe I’m doing this, Jaxson Dart only had 33 passing yards. That’s not a typo, that is what he had! Next week’s matchup with the Raiders will determine who gets the No. 1 pick in next year’s draft (when was the last time you saw a matchup where the biggest loser of a game was the winner?).
JETS 6 – SAINTS 29
For one team, the future seems a little clearer. For the other…this was just sad. In this battle of the eliminated, the New Orleans Saints routed the New York Jets. It’s been a while since Taysom Hill had the chance to show off his Swiss-Army knife skill set. Hill threw a 38-yard touchdown pass, rushed for 42 yards, and caught four passes for 36 yards. It’s unfortunate that he’s getting up there in age, as is a couple of Saints defenders like Cameron Jordan. This offseason will be interesting for the Saints. Their next game is against the Titans. As for the Jets, you can make all the coaching changes you want, but there are no quality, healthy players on the Jets. I’m not sure what’s more delusional: Aaron Glenn asking Jets fans for patience, or the “experts” still trying to convince us that the Chiefs’ time isn’t done. Trick question…it’s the second one. The Jets play the Patriots next week.
FALCONS 26 – CARDINALS 19
Despite being eliminated, the Atlanta Falcons won over the Arizona Cardinals thanks, once again, to Kirk Cousins (YOU LIKE THAT!). Cousins completed 21 of 35 passes for 197 passing yards, two touchdowns, and an interception. It’s been a great season for Bijan Robinson. The question is whether Cousins has done enough to earn back the starting job for next season? The Falcons play the Rams next week on Monday Night Football. It’ll be interesting since the Rams need a win…and they want the Falcons to do worse so they can get a higher draft pick (the Rams control the Falcons’ first round pick). So, the Falcons can expect a VERY motivated Rams team next week. As for the Cardinals, they’re still evaluating players for next season. Michael Carter has really stood out. Question is: do they keep him or use him for trade bait? The Cardinals play the Bengals next week.
RAIDERS 21 – TEXANS 23
It was too close for comfort, but the Houston Texans got their 7th win in a row over the Las Vegas Raiders. This game showed everyone what could happen if Ashton Jeanty and Brock Bowers are unleashed. Jeanty rushed for 128 yards and a touchdown while adding one catch for 60 yards (that also went for a touchdown). Bowers added another five catches for 33 yards and a touchdown. Suffice it to say, this was Jeanty’s best game of the season, and it was good to see Bowers almost his old self. I wish it could be this way all the time, but not with Geno Smith at quarterback. The Raiders will play the Giants next week with the No. 1 draft pick on the line. As for the Texans, this was too close to call. They have a lot of things to correct before facing a true test before the playoffs: a matchup against Justin Herbert and the Chargers.
JAGUARS 34 – BRONCOS 20
HOLY MOLE HOLES! The Jacksonville Jaguars got a big statement win over the Denver Broncos. Trevor Lawrence had an amazing game passing for 279 yards and three touchdowns, while also rushing for an additional 20 yards and another touchdown. The Jaguars have been on a hot streak, and the division title is within reach. They’ll make a difficult team to go up against in the playoffs. They have a chance to lock up the division against the Colts next week. As for the Broncos, I did warn that they wouldn’t be able to keep up their bad habit of coming from behind EVERY SINGLE GAME. They got away with it against bad teams like the Commanders and Giants, but it’s clear it won’t work with playoff caliber teams. The Broncos play the Chiefs Christmas Day on Peacock.
STEELERS 29 – LIONS 24
Thanks to a pass interference call breaking up what turned out to be an amazing play, the Pittsburg Steelers hung on against the Detroit Lions. It wasn’t one of Aaron Rodgers’ best games, throwing for 266 yards and a touchdown, but it was efficient and he got the job done. Obviously, the suspension for DK Metcalf will have some impact on the team for the stretch run. Fortunately, they have a very winnable matchup next week against the Browns. As for the Lions, time and fate are not on their side. Their odds of making the playoffs are slim, and they are not in control of their own destiny. A slip up next week against the Vikings could cost them a playoff spot.
PATRIOTS 28 – RAVENS 24
In this game that saw impactful injuries on both sides, the New England Patriots defeated the Baltimore Ravens to finally return to the playoffs for the first time since the departure of the legendary Tom Brady. Drake Maye has managed to surpass all expectations and had a great performance. Maye threw for 380 yards, two touchdowns, and an interception. Obviously, the number of injured players is a concern as the Patriots try to win the division for the first time since the Brady era. They have a winnable matchup next week against the Jets. As for the Ravens, the clock has nearly run out. With the health of Lamar Jackson in question, and his status as an elite quarterback in jeopardy, the Ravens’ playoff chances are on life support. Every game from now on is a must-win. A loss next week against the Packers will eliminate the Ravens from playoff contention.
49ERS 48 – COLTS 27
Philip Rivers showed he still has plenty of life left in him, but the Indianapolis Colts’ defense failed him again as the San Francisco 49ers put themselves in striking distance of the No.1 seed. Brock Purdy had an incredible night throwing for 295 yards and five touchdowns, although that one interception put a little dent on his sterling night. The 49ers have had a great season, but don’t forget they had the easiest schedule going into this season. They have a chance to send a message next week on Sunday Night Football by beating the Bears (if they can). As for the Colts, don’t blame Philip Rivers. Other than that interception he threw that was returned for a touchdown (or a pick six as some football people call it), Rivers had a great night. Nevertheless, the Colts, once thought of as a shoo-in for the playoffs, are now on the brink of elimination from postseason contention. If they lose next week against the Jaguars, they will be eliminated (I tried to word that like Phil Keoghan from The Amazing Race would have). It’s also important to note that the Colts’ loss punched three more tickets to the postseason: the Jaguars, the Bills, and the hometown Chargers.
