I write this assuming that everyone has recovered from their food comas from Thanksgiving now that the Christmas season is officially here. It’s also the most important part of the season: the stretch run. This is the time of year that teams make their final push for playoff spots or playoff positioning. It’s also the time for officially eliminating teams from contention (put them out of their misery is a more appropriate description). Going into this week, the Giants, Titans, Raiders, Saints, and Cardinals were already officially eliminated. Finally, this is the last week for teams to have a bye week. The teams that had this week off were the Patriots (who can clinch a playoff spot next week with a win or Texans and Colts loss), Giants, 49ers, and Panthers. Let’s take a look at who won, who lost, who got eliminated, and which teams going for the playoffs are just “Born to Run” (I thought I’d throw out a Bruce Springsteen reference instead of Stevie Nicks just to throw you people off…and I can’t think of a better sub for the Queen of Rock and Roll than the Boss himself).
COWBOYS 30 – LIONS 44
This was an interesting post-Thanksgiving matchup between the Dallas Cowboys and Detroit Lions, as both needed a win to stay in the playoff race. In the end, the Lions pulled away to put a serious dent in the Cowboys’ chances. The ground game proved to be the difference for the Lions, as running backs Jahmyr Gibbs and David Montgomery combined for 103 rushing yards and four touchdowns. It’s fortunate the Lions have a one-two punch at running back as they’ll need it in this final stretch of the season to make the playoffs. They have an interesting matchup with the Rams next week given the fact that they are forever linked because of the famed Jared Goff-Matthew Stafford trade. As for the Cowboys, their defense reverted to their previous, and regrettable, state before their bye. Yes, one of the teams they beat in their winning streak was a pitiful Raiders team, but they also beat the Eagles and Chiefs, last year’s Super Bowl opponents. However, given the Eagles and Chiefs’ playing as of late…it may have given all of us false hope in the Cowboys. The Cowboys will look to bounce back next week against the Vikings.
RAMS 45 – CARDINALS 17
It was a great day for the hometown Los Angeles Rams, as they rebounded from last week’s disappointing upset to trample the already eliminated Arizona Cardinals. Matthew Stafford continued to build his MVP resume with a strong performance by completing 22 of 31 passes for 281 yards and three touchdowns. With the win, the Rams are back on top of the NFC as the Eagles continue to descend. However, they’ll still need to hold off the Packers, as well as the Seahawks and 49ers from their own division, if they want to hold onto that top seed. But the offense has proved it can win multiple different ways. Stafford faces his old team, the Lions, next week as destiny seems to keep the Lions and Rams linked together. If the Rams win, they’ll punch their ticket to the playoffs. As for the Cardinals, we knew they were already eliminated and they were decimated by injuries, and they played like it. The good news is that I like how the offense has been with Jacoby Brissett as quarterback (271 passing yards, two touchdowns, and an interception is a respectable showing). But that does beg the question about Kyler Murray: he’s already done for the year, but is his time with the Cardinals over? The Cardinals also announced that they will not activate Trey Benson from Injured Reserve, ending his season (which is for the best given that their season is already over). Things don’t get easier as what is left of the Cardinals plays the red-hot Texans next week.
COMMANDERS 0 – VIKINGS 31
Last year, the Washington Commanders stunned us all with an amazing run that led them into the playoffs and into the NFC Championship. Fast forward to last weekend, this disastrous season has led them to elimination from playoff contention as they were destroyed by the Minnesota Vikings. JJ McCarthy had a pretty good game; he only passed for 163 yards, but he also had three touchdowns. I understand that Vikings fans would rather have a better draft spot for next year’s draft, but time hasn’t completely run out for the Vikings. They’re still in playoff contention, but they’ll need to win out. Also, if McCarthy is going to thrive…him and the Vikings MUST get star Justin Jefferson the ball MORE! They’ll play the Cowboys next week, and the loser will most likely be eliminated from contention for a playoff spot. As for the Commanders, I don’t want to say last year was a fluke, but it sure does feel like it. Last year’s Rookie of the Year, Jayden Daniels, has fallen into a serious sophomore slump just as CJ Stroud did the year before. Obviously, injuries played a part in this lost season, and I believe improving the line is going to be essential if they want to keep Daniels healthy. Because whatever they are doing to protect him is not working since it was announced that Daniels is out for their next game (which is for the best since they aren’t going to the playoffs anyway). The eliminated Commanders will play the also eliminated Giants next week.
SEAHAWKS 37 – FALCONS 9
It was a rough first half for the Seattle Seahawks, but they turned it around in the second half to down the Atlanta Falcons and end whatever little playoff hopes they had. Sam Darnold had another sterling performance, completing 20 of 30 passes for 249 yards and three touchdowns. The Seahawks have built a very scary defense rivaled only by the Texans. However, only one of Seattle’s 10 wins has come against a quarterback who entered the game ranked in the top 20 in total QBR. For now, all of this is just dress rehearsal for the Seahawks as they prepare for Week 16 when they have another crack at Matthew Stafford and the Rams, who beat them once already. But for now, the Seahawks will have to focus next week on taking out a reeling Colts team. As for the Falcons, yes, their hopes of the playoffs are officially over. Are there any silver linings? Uh, well, rookie James Pearce Jr. has a sack in each of his past five games (first time a rookie has done so since Micah Parsons in 2021). Other than that, I got nothing. What’s worse is that they don’t even have a first round pick as they traded it to the Rams (which means the Seahawks did the Rams a favor by beating the Falcons). It’ll be purely assessment from here on out as they play the Buccaneers on Thursday Night Football next week.
DOLPHINS 34 – JETS 10
As absurd as this sounds, there is still hope for the Miami Dolphins. This big AFC East clash ended whatever hopes the New York Jets had of the playoffs, while the Dolphins lived to fight another day. The Jets never had a chance against the Dolphins’ rushing attack. Over all, the Dolphins ran it on the ground for 239 yards and three touchdowns. Of course, this game comes with a caveat. De’Von Achane exited the contest with a rib injury and could be held out of some practice sessions this week according to sources from the Miami Herald. We’ll see how the running game does possibly without Achane next week against the Steelers. As for the Jets, it’s time to start thinking about the offseason. They need a lot of things, including a quarterback. But will they be high enough to snag Fernando Mendoza? They’ll be assessing players for the rest of the season, starting next week against the Jaguars.
COLTS 19 – JAGUARS 36
How the tables have turned. I take you back to Week 7 when I ranked all the teams based on their playoff chances. The Indianapolis Colts were in the best tier (which if you remember was SEE YOU IN WINTER). They’ve gone from that to one of the lower tiers (LIFE SUPPORT) in a big hurry as they’ve fallen out of the playoff picture with a loss to the surging Jacksonville Jaguars. Things are trending up for Trevor Lawrence, who passed for 244 yards and two touchdowns. It was good to see last year’s Rookie of the Year contender, Brian Thomas Jr., showing flashes of his former self in this game. If the Jaguars keep this up, my vote for Coach of the Year goes to Liam Coen. With full control of the AFC South, the Jaguars hope to keep up the momentum next week against the Jets. As for the Colts, things couldn’t be worse. On Monday, the Colts made it official that Daniel Jones was done for the year with a torn achilles. Backup quarterback is also dealing with a knee injury which puts his status for next week in uncertain territory. Because of this, the Colts were forced to reach out and bring Chargers legend Philip Rivers out of retirement. The 44-year-old has been signed to the practice squad and hasn’t played since the COVID season of 2020. The Colts are in desperation territory as they contend with the Seahawks next week.
SAINTS 24 – BUCCANEERS 20
HOLY MOLE HOLES! The New Orleans Saints seem content to play spoilers for the rest of the season as they took down the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. However, Tyler Shough hasn’t done enough to save his job as he threw for 144 yards and an interception, but he did rush it himself for 55 yards and two touchdowns. He needs to stop making so many of these rookie mistakes if he hopes to convince the Saints not to draft a quarterback in next year’s draft. They’ll play the Panthers next week. As for the Buccaneers, this was not a game they could afford to lose. Now the Panthers have caught them, and we have a tie for the NFC South crown. They need to turn things around fast as we run out of time for the season, starting next week on Thursday Night Football against the Falcons. Fortunately, reports say that star Mike Evans is eligible to play, and that is some much-needed good news.
BENGALS 34 – BILLS 39
HOLY MOLE HOLES! The Cincinnati Bengals had this game but now find themselves on the chopping block after losing control while the Buffalo Bills live to fight another day. Joe Burrow did his best in the quarterback duel with Josh Allen. Burrow ended up throwing for 284 yards, four touchdowns, and two interceptions. Allen topped that with 251 yards, three touchdowns, and no interceptions. This was a critical game for the Bills as the playoff race tightens. Their chances of winning the division again are fading fast, and there are still a few teams behind them ready to pounce and take one of the wild card spots away from them. For the Bills, the defense remains their achilles heel. There is a small chance they could chip away at the Patriots’ lead in the division, but they’ll have to beat them next week to do it. As for the Bengals, it’s now or never. They’re next on the chopping block for next week, which means they can’t lose any more games. I’m not sure if even Joe Burrow can pull this out of the hat. The Bengals also lost star defensive end Trey Hendrickson, who will undergo core muscle surgery. Since he’ll be sidelined for six weeks, he’s pretty much done for the year unless the Bengals miraculously make the playoffs. They’ll play the Ravens next week, if they lose, they will be eliminated from playoff contention.
STEELERS 27 – RAVENS 22
The Pittsburg Steelers managed to claw out a much-needed win to reclaim the division lead against the Baltimore Ravens. This was a good bounce back game for Aaron Rodgers, who threw for 284 yards and a touchdown. The Steelers are back in the driver’s seat of the AFC North thanks to their defeat of the Ravens and the loss of the Bengals. The AFC North is one of the few divisions still up for grabs, and they can’t falter or they risk losing the division crown and a spot in the playoffs. They’ll play a hot and desperate Dolphins team next week on Monday Night Football. As for the Ravens, it’s do or die time as their bleak playoff hopes are back on life support. This just hasn’t been Lamar Jackson’s season, as there is something clearly up with the former MVP. Of course, the potential game-winning touchdown pass to Isaiah Likely being overturned did them no favors. The Ravens play the Bengals next week, who are even more desperate than them.
TITANS 31 – BROWNS 29
I have always been a believer in a simple philosophy: if you get two teams that suck and get them to play each other…you get an amazing game! This was the game of the day on Sunday as the Tennessee Titans beat the Cleveland Browns. Despite losing the game, Shedeur Sanders outdueled Cam Ward. Sanders threw for 364 yards, three touchdowns, and an interception. Meanwhile, Ward only threw for 117 yards, two touchdowns, and an interception. Now, the Titans are already eliminated from playoff contention, but they seem to have found a diamond in the rough in Jeffery Simmons. He had an amazing game with two sacks and multiple times of pressuring the quarterback. And as the team’s nominee for the Walter Payton Man of the Year, he sounds like a nice guy. The Titans play the 49ers next. As for the Browns, the loss officially eliminates them from the playoff race. Has Sanders done enough to keep the quarterback position? Good question, because the rumor mill says that Deshawn Watson will be back next year. And the loss also puts the Browns back in the running for the number one pick. Only time will tell as the Browns play the Bears next week.
BRONCOS 24 – RAIDERS 17
It was a lot closer than the Denver Broncos wanted, but they escaped with the win against the Las Vegas Raiders. Bo Nix managed to throw for more yards than both of the Raiders quarterbacks with 212 yards, but no touchdowns. Now, let’s look at this: the Broncos have a 10-game winning streak, they have the top seed in the AFC, and they look like a lock for the playoffs. But I have some concerns. This was a game that shouldn’t have been this close against a team that was already eliminated from playoff contention. Let’s be realistic here: last year, the Chiefs got away with similar wins to the Broncos only to get utterly destroyed in the Super Bowl. Unless the Broncos show some more wins, they are probably going to crash and burn. They face a big measuring stick next week against the Packers. A win will clinch a playoff spot for the Broncos (or a loss by the Texans and Colts). As for the Raiders, it’s sad that I think that this was one of their better games. I think Caleb Rogers has emerged as the Raiders’ guy at right guard after allowing only one sack. Now they have something solid to work with to build an ACTUAL offensive line for next season (because I want to see Ashton Jeanty unleashed next season). The Raiders play the Eagles next week.
BEARS 21 – PACKERS 28
This was extremely entertaining to watch as the Green Bay Packers defeated their hated rivals, the Chicago Bears, to seize control of the NFC North. Jordan Love had a great performance with 234 passing yards, three touchdowns, but also threw an interception. Love has done a great job, but his more regrettable performances in previous games will unfortunately keep him from winning the MVP race. Still, the Packers are back in the driver’s seat, but this is anyone’s division to win (and these teams sure do like to hate each other). As for the Bears, like I said, this is still anyone’s division to win. They need to take this loss to heart and learn from it because they’ll get another shot at the Packers in friendly Chicago. Don’t blame all of it on Caleb Williams because their defensive line has been inconsistent this season. Look for the Bears to try and bounce back next week against the Browns.
TEXANS 20 – CHIEFS 10
I must start this part of this article with the Kike Hernandez quote from this year’s Dodgers World Series Championship parade: “…I want to take this time to apologize to absolutely -censored- nobody!” I say that because, to quote a song from the musical Hamilton, “Now what I’m going to say may sound indelicate!” I am saying all of this because, despite what the “experts” trying their best to try and talk down the chances of this happening throughout this slide, the Kansas City Chiefs’ dynasty may be over. Yeah, that’s going to be get me some complaints and claims I don’t know what I’m talking about as well as someone saying, to quote from the same Hamilton song, “Yo, who the F is this?!” This is all because their playoff chances are on life support after losing to the Houston Texans and their league-leading defense. I’d like to see a better performance going forward from CJ Stroud. Still, it was a respectable outing for Stroud, completing 15 of 31 passes for 203 yards and a touchdown. The Texans have muscled their way into the playoff picture. For now, they hold that last wild card spot. Two of their next opponents have miserable records while another faces an uncertainty at quarterback. Their only legitimate test in this stretch run is the Chargers (and I don’t like the Chargers’ odds on this given their failures to protect Justin Herbert). We’ll see if the Texans’ momentum takes them higher as they take on the Cardinals next week. Okay, let’s talk about the Chiefs. The problem is obviously not Patrick Mahomes. I admire the man’s ability to keep the Chiefs in the game. The problem is his supporting cast. None of them can catch except Xaiver Worthy, and he has shown himself to be not the most consistent option despite that. Also, coach Andy Reid isn’t used to the league now that it has adapted to his playbook. Adding to the bad news is that LT Wanya Morris has suffered a season-ending knee injury. The Chiefs take on the Chargers next week. If they lose again…the clock will strike midnight on the Chiefs’ dynasty.
EAGLES 19 – CHARGERS 22 (OT)
What better way to end this week’s slate of games with a big showdown between two teams that need wins to keep their playoff position secure: the hometown Los Angeles Chargers against the defending champion Philadelphia Eagles. In a game where both teams made a lot of mistakes when they COULD NOT afford to make any, the Chargers survived this overtime battle of attrition against the Eagles. I was not thrilled with the playing of both quarterbacks as Justin Herbert was under too much pressure and Jalen Hurts made too many costly mistakes. Going forward, there doesn’t seem to be anything that the Chargers can do to keep Herbert safe. The offensive linemen they have are not capable of doing the job, and that means this might be a short postseason for the Chargers. They’ll have to be creative against the Chiefs next week. As for the Eagles, I have read from some analysts blaming Jalen Hurts. Now, I promised the famous MC Mikey from the Ontario Reign (the minor league affiliate of the NHL Los Angeles Kings) that I would be easy on the Eagles this week. Look, Hurts had a bad game, but the whole team has been having a less-than-ideal season. The champions have multiple problems, including their kicker, who missed another field goal in this game. This is going to be a difficult problem to solve as the champs try to find a way to keep their title safe. Their next game against the Raiders will serve as a testing ground for their plan to overcome their shortcomings going forward.
SIDEBAR STORY: MONSTERS INC. FUNDAY FOOTBALL
What took the edge of the tense game between the Chargers and Eagles, which made it feel essentially like a playoff game, was the simulcast of the game: the Monsters Inc. Funday Football. As I mentioned last week, every year the NFL and Disney team up to put together a kid-friendly simulcast of the game using familiar characters. This year’s had the characters from the beloved Disney-Pixar Monsters Inc. franchise.
The players were interviewed with a lot of fun questions like who was the most serious (like Roz) or who had the best laugh (…also like Roz…in her opinion). They were even asked what it was going to be like “playing” with Mike and Sulley since it was determined that Sulley would play for the Chargers and Mike would play for the Eagles (because of their respective colors). The Chargers wanted Sulley on the offensive line protecting Justin Herbert while the Eagles jokingly wanted to use Mike as the ball.
It was an enjoyable experience that even Chris Berman enjoyed being a part of (while also wondering why he never won an Oscar before like the movie Monsters Inc.). The game also taught kids about different plays and rules of the NFL while also providing trivia about NFL history. It also gave facts not known about the world of Monsters Inc, such as the fact that they created 500 characters for the prequel Monsters University (which explains why we waited so long for it).
Overall, it was a fun experience filled with moments that remind you of the original movie. Having Mike and Sulley go head-to-head in various games at halftime was true entertainment. While some have said that Pixar hasn’t reclaimed its former glory, this simulcast showed that Disney and Pixar still have the ability to entertain and delight us. I especially liked when Sulley said that they could host a Super Bowl (preparing to take the case to Roger Goodell himself). If you have kids curious about football but don’t know anything about it: have them watch this.
The replay of the Monsters Funday Football can be found on Disney+.
