Things seem to be settling in for the NFL season. Some teams have defied the odds, some have turned their fortunes around, and some teams…well there’s no hope for them. Week Seven also saw the absence of two teams: the Buffalo Bills and the Baltimore Ravens. Both teams are more vulnerable than anticipated…the Ravens in particular look like they may miss the playoffs ALTOGETHER! This week, I will start ranking the teams by their playoff chances. Each team will get one of the following tiers, with the first one being the highest chance of the playoffs: SEE YOU IN WINTER, LOOKING GOOD, IN THE HUNT, JEKYLL AND HYDE, LIFE SUPPORT, and THERE’S NO HOPE FOR YOU. Before we begin recapping the games, let’s rank the Bills and Ravens, the two teams on bye this week: Bills – JEKYLL AND HYDE, Ravens – LIFE SUPPORT.
STEELERS 31 – BENGALS 33
HOLY MOLE HOLES! We started this week with an upset, as the Cincinnati Bengals defeated the Pittsburg Steelers. This was a battle between two men who could be Hall of Famers one day: Joe Flacco and Aaron Rodgers. Flacco prevailed in this matchup throwing for 342 yards, three touchdowns, and no interceptions. Rodgers threw for 249 yards, four touchdowns, but threw two interceptions. Obviously, the Bengals need to be a little more consistent to emerge from the wilderness with a shot at the playoffs before Joe Burrow returns. They have a winnable matchup next week against the Jets. As for the Steelers, look, everyone has a bump in the road. They still look good, and they still control the AFC North. How they respond to this loss is what will determine what kind of team they really are. They have a big prime time matchup with the Packers in Sunday Night Football to see what they can really do. PLAYOFF PROJECTIONS: BENGALS – LIFE SUPPORT, STEELERS – LOOKING GOOD.
RAMS 35 – JAGUARS 7
Wow and ouch. The Los Angeles Rams traveled to London, the second home of the opposing Jacksonville Jaguars, and gave them a royal beatdown. Not sure what happened, but London was definitely NOT calling for the Jaguars this year (oh, you were expecting a Stevie Nicks reference and not The Clash, weren’t you?). The one with the big game besides Matthew Stafford was Davante Adams. Filling in for the injured Puka Nacua, Adams hauled in five catches for 35 yards and three touchdowns (probably thinking that if Ohtani can hit three home runs, he can catch three touchdown passes). Now, the Rams should get Puka back after their bye next week, but Adams might finally be the answer to the Rams’ red zone problems. The Rams will play the Saints after their bye week. As for the Jaguars, look…this looked bad. Despite that, I will say this…about time that Travis Hunter showed up. He finally made an impact, but he’ll need to do that on both sides of the ball. They also need the other players like Travis Etienne Jr. and Brian Thomas Jr. to step up. The Jaguars also have a bye next week, and they’ll play the Raiders when they return. PLAYOFF PROJECTIONS: RAMS – LOOKING GOOD, JAGUARS – JEYKLL AND HYDE.
COLTS 38 – CHARGERS 24
I have to say, I’m concerned about the Los Angeles Chargers. After a hot start to the season, the Chargers have regressed to a mere shell of themselves and fell to the Indianapolis Colts. Their defense has looked terrible as of late, which explains how Jonathan Taylor rushed for 94 yards and three touchdowns against them. The Colts seem unstoppable as they sit pretty on top of the AFC. They should easily beat the Titans next week. As for the Chargers, the injuries have made things untenable. Justin Herbert is one of the best quarterbacks in the league, but when his offensive line is doomed to failure, of course he’s going to throw interceptions. To the “experts” I say this: this is not Herbert’s fault…his team has failed him. The Chargers have a Thursday Night Football showdown with the Vikings next week. PLAYOFF PROJECTIONS: COLTS – SEE YOU IN WINTER, CHARGERS – JEKYLL AND HYDE.
PATRIOTS 31 – TITANS 13
How about the New England Patriots? They have exceeded all expectations and won easily over the crumbling Tennessee Titans. A stellar game from running back Rhamondre Stevenson, who rushed for 88 yards and a touchdown for the Patriots. You may find this hard to believe, but the Patriots are now in first place of the AFC East. This might be a temporary thing, but it certainly means the Bills don’t have an iron grip on their division anymore. The Patriots have a winnable matchup next week against the Browns. As for the Titans, things don’t look good. Cam Ward has had a miserable start to the season. It may be time to worry about the supposed future of the franchise. Things don’t get better next week as they take on the red hot Colts. PLAYOFF PROJECTIONS: PATRIOTS – IN THE HUNT, TITANS – THERE’S NO HOPE FOR YOU.
RAIDERS 0 – CHIEFS 31
Oh, now this is just sad. Clearly the Las Vegas Raiders are not meant to do anything this season after being shut out by the Kansas City Chiefs. Everyone in the Chiefs excelled so it’s hard to pick one performance out of the bunch. I’ll go with the obvious one: Patrick Mahomes threw for 286 yards and three touchdowns. The “experts” are already running back to the Chiefs as the super team of the league. Hold your horses, folks. They still haven’t gotten a convincing win besides against the Lions to justify the idea that they can maintain their AFC crown. If they beat the Commanders in Monday Night Football next week, they I will say that the Chiefs are back. As for the Raiders, I’m not sure why they automatically abandoned the running game since their passing game is so terrible. They haven’t utilized Ashton Jeanty to his potential, and Brock Bowers isn’t around to help. But I will say this: Geno Smith is NOT the answer to the quarterback problems. The Raiders have a bye next week, but when they return they will face the Jaguars (who are also on a bye next week). PLAYOFF PROJECTIONS: CHIEFS – JEKYLL AND HYDE, RAIDERS – THERE’S NO HOPE FOR YOU.
DOLPHINS 6 – BROWNS 31
This was an even more humiliating loss, as the Miami Dolphins were routed by the Cleveland Browns. My hat’s off to Quinshon Judkins of the Browns, rushing for 84 yards and three touchdowns. So, congratulations to the Browns: your chances just went from none to slim. There is still more work to be done if the Browns want to prove this win wasn’t just a one-off. They play a pretty hot Patriots team next week. As for the Dolphins, I think they’ve finally hit rock bottom. The season looks lost, and it’s up to owner Stephen Ross to decide who is most responsible for the Dolphins’ current fortunes. They’ll be an obvious underdog next week against the Falcons. PLAYOFF PROJECTIONS: BROWNS – LIFE SUPPORT, DOLPHINS – THERE’S NO HOPE FOR YOU.
SAINTS 14 – BEARS 26
Earlier in the month, Chicago fans were disappointed (depending on which part of Chicago) when the Cubs were eliminated from the MLB playoffs. Fortunately, there is cause for hope as the Chicago Bears seem to have found themselves with a good win over the New Orleans Saints. D’Andre Swift had a good game for the Bears, rushing for 124 yards and a touchdown. Their running game has gotten good, and their defense is more aggressive. But they’ll need more than that to emerge as legitimate contenders. They play the Ravens next week, but it remains to be seen if Lamar Jackson suits up for the Ravens. As for the Saints, clearly their plan at the start of the season to ride it out with Spencer Rattler at quarterback has failed. They better hope a good quarterback prospect emerges for next year’s draft, because it looks like this season is lost. It doesn’t get better as they play a Buccaneers team in need of a bounce back win. PLAYOFF PROJECTIONS: BEARS – IN THE HUNT, SAINTS – THERE’S NO HOPE FOR YOU.
EAGLES 28 – VIKINGS 22
I may not be ready to say the Chiefs are back yet, but I am willing to say that it looks like the defending champs are back. It wasn’t a pretty win, but the Philadelphia Eagles got a much-needed morale boost by defeating the Minnesota Vikings. Jalen Hurts looked like his old self: completing 19 of 23 passes for 326 yards and three touchdowns. The Eagles offense sure looked great, but it would be nice to get Saquon Barkley back up to snuff. They’ll be playing the Giants next, a team they’ve already lost to once before. As for the Vikings, yeah, I definitely expected more from Carson Wentz against his old team. However, the two interceptions are difficult to ignore. Their Thursday Night Football game against the Chargers has become a must win for both teams. PLAYOFF PROJECTIONS: EAGLES – IN THE HUNT, VIKINGS – JEKYLL AND HYDE.
PANTHERS 13 – JETS 6
Well, offensively…this game kind of sucked. For those that love defense, then this was the game of the year so far. It wasn’t the prettiest game, but the Carolina Panthers beat the New York Jets. It is difficult to find an offensive player that stood out as no one really lit the world on fire. If you had to make me pick, I would go with Panthers receiver Xavier Legette with 92 receiving yards and a touchdown. The unfortunate news is that it seems unlikely that Bryce Young will play next week after suffering a high ankle sprain. The Panthers will have to figure things out as they face a Bills team desperate for a win. As for the Jets, well…their record says it all. Still no wins for the Jets, who are likely to look for yet another quarterback this offseason. Their upcoming game against the Bengals is their best chance of getting their first win. PLAYOFF PROJECTIONS: PANTHERS – IN THE HUNT, JETS – THERE’S NO HOPE FOR YOU.
COMMANDERS 22 – COWBOYS 44
HOLY MOLE HOLES! What once looked like a promising season is being derailed by injuries for the Washington Commanders, who fell to the Dallas Cowboys. It was a good game for Dak Prescott, who completed 21 of 30 passes for 264 yards and three touchdowns. Okay, I’d like to apologize to the Cowboys for writing them off prematurely (I’m not always right, you know). Their offense is looking better, and they are very much alive, although I still think their defense could use some slight reinforcement. The Cowboys have a tough matchup against the Broncos next week. As for the Commanders, this season has gone from hopeful to life support fast. The injuries are starting to really take their toll. The good news is that Jayden Daniels’ hamstring injury is not significant, but his availability for next week is in question. However, the bad news is that defensive end Dorance Armstrong is done for the year. With everything falling apart, their next game against the Chiefs could doom their last chances to turn things around. PLAYOFF PROJECTIONS: COWBOYS – IN THE HUNT, COMMANDERS – LIFE SUPPORT.
PACKERS 27 – CARDINALS 23
This weekend didn’t have a great start for the Green Bay Packers. Their team plane experienced mechanical issues and made things frustrating. However, they still managed to come up with a win against the Arizona Cardinals. Josh Jacobs, still sick and hurt, led the way for 55 rushing yards and two touchdowns. Here’s the deal, the Packers don’t look anything like the dominating powerhouse they looked like at the start of the season. Having the scrape by to get a win against a team like the Cardinals doesn’t look good. Their next game is a primetime matchup against the Steelers in Sunday Night Football. As for the Cardinals, it was a good effort, but nothing to show for it. The problem is that their remaining schedule after their bye next week is pretty tough. When they return, it’ll be a Monday Night Football game against the Cowboys. This might be the Cardinals’ final chance to turn things around. PLAYOFF PROJECTIONS: PACKERS – JEKYLL AND HYDE, CARDINALS – LIFE SUPPORT.
GIANTS 32 – BRONCOS 33
HOLY MOLE HOLES! The New York Giants blew it big time! After shutting down the Broncos for three quarters of the game, the Giants allowed the Broncos to score 33 points in the fourth quarter, squandering a 19-point lead. This is an NFL record for a team that was shutout through three quarters to score this much in the final quarter of a game. I tip my hat to Bo Nix, the hero of the game. Nix threw for 279 passing yards for two touchdowns and ran it himself for 48 rushing yards for another two touchdowns! Now a question the “experts” threw around was if the Broncos are really lucky or really good. They argued lucky, I argue good. With a quarterback like Nix at the helm, did you really think that the Giants of all teams could actually pitch a shutout against the Broncos? It’s a race between the Broncos and Chiefs now for the AFC West. The Broncos will put their perfect home record on the line next week against the Cowboys. As for the Giants, only you guys could blow this. Yes, Jaxson Dart has been a boon for the offense, but your defense still sucks. So how did the Giants lose that game? That’s easy: they’re the Giants. Next week is a rematch with the Eagles, who smell blood and are hungry for revenge. PLAYOFF PROJECTIONS: BRONCOS – LOOKING GOOD, GIANTS – LIFE SUPPORT (although the argument could be made for THERE’S NO HOPE FOR YOU).
FALCONS 10 – 49ERS 20
This turned out to be a pretty good game. The San Francisco 49ers managed to outlast the Atlanta Falcons to keep themselves in the running for the NFC West lead. Thank the football gods for Christian McCaffrey 49ers fans, as he led the way with 129 rushing yards and two touchdowns. I honestly don’t think this level of winning is sustainable with all these injuries, but somehow the 49ers are defying the odds. We’ll see how they do against the Texans next week. As for the Falcons, look…we all know Bijan Robinson is a stud and in the running for MVP. But they can’t rely on JUST him. They win by spreading the ball around…that’s what separates the NFL from the PGA: it’s not a one man show. The Falcons can still keep their hopes afloat in a winnable matchup next week against the Dolphins. PLAYOFF PROJECTIONS: 49ERS – IN THE HUNT, FALCONS – JEKYLL AND HYDE.
BUCCANEERS 9 – LIONS 24
After last week’s fiasco, the Detroit Lions bounced back beautifully against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on the first game of the Monday Night Football slate. Jahmyr Gibbs had a great game for the Lions, rushing for 136 yards and two touchdowns. The Lions’ ability to bounce back from losses has never been in question. What suddenly is the question is if David Montgomery still has a purpose on this team if Jahmyr Gibbs keeps having games like this. The Lions have a bye next week to prepare for the second half of the season, and then they’ll be back to play the Vikings. As for the Buccaneers, things have taken a bad turn really fast. Star receiver Mike Evans suffered a broken collarbone, and he will miss most of the remaining season. Suddenly, their grip on the NFC South is no longer very tight with the Panthers a game behind them. Fortunately they have a winnable matchup against the slumping Saints next week. PLAYOFF PROJECTIONS: LIONS – SEE YOU IN WINTER, BUCCANEERS – IN THE HUNT.
TEXANS 19 – SEAHAWS 27
The last game of the Monday Night Football slate and of the week was between the Houston Texans and the Seattle Seahawks. Despite the crowd being deflated by the shock loss and elimination of the Mariners in the MLB playoffs, the Seahawks managed to bring the crowd some hope with a victory over the Texans. It was a big game for Seahawks wide receiver Jaxon Smith-Njigba; hauling in eight catches for 123 yards and a touchdown. The win keeps the Seahawks in a dogfight with the Rams and 49ers for the division title. Their defense will look truly terrifying when it’s at full strength. The Seahawks have a bye next week, but then they’ll play the Commanders on Sunday Night Football when they return. As for the Texans, they can’t seem to win against teams with a winning record. That’s bad for their chances of going anywhere, especially since their opponent next week, the 49ers, has a winning record. PLAYOFF PROJECTIONS: SEAHAWKS – IN THE HUNT, TEXANS – LIFE SUPPORT.
(Disappointed you didn’t get a proper Stevie Nicks reference? Don’t worry, you’ll get a proper one next week…just in time for Halloween!)
