Review: Valerie Milano
Los Angeles, CA (The Hollywood Times) 8/4/25 – David Troxell’s A Dignified Life: The Best Friends Approach to Alzheimer’s Care is a poignant and deeply insightful guide for caregivers, particularly those dealing with Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia. Troxell, who has decades of experience working with people with Alzheimer’s, draws on his background as a practitioner and an advocate for those with cognitive disorders to offer a philosophy of care that is both compassionate and practical.
The heart of the book revolves around Troxell’s “Best Friends Approach.” This is an approach that emphasizes empathy, respect, and treating the person with dementia as an individual rather than simply a patient. Rather than focusing on what the person cannot do, the approach stresses what they can do, and builds upon those abilities. This positive, strengths-based perspective is crucial for maintaining a sense of dignity for those living with Alzheimer’s.
Troxell underscores the importance of forming genuine emotional connections with the person in care. He suggests that caregivers should be a “best friend” to their loved ones—someone who listens, understands, and provides meaningful interactions. This shifts the dynamic away from seeing the person as “difficult” or “broken” to recognizing them as still capable of experiencing joy, love, and fulfillment.
One of the book’s strongest points is its balance between compassion and actionable advice. Troxell doesn’t just offer philosophical musings—he provides practical strategies for caregiving. These range from techniques for communication, to managing difficult behaviors, to advice on how to manage the emotional toll on the caregiver.
Troxell advocates for person-centered care, which means tailoring the approach to the individual’s life history, interests, and personality. He encourages caregivers to learn as much as they can about the person they are caring for in order to support them in a way that feels meaningful and authentic. This perspective challenges the more traditional, one-size-fits-all approach to dementia care.
The core idea that those with Alzheimer’s are still deserving of dignity, love, and respect resonates strongly throughout the text. This makes the book especially valuable not just for caregivers, but for anyone seeking a deeper understanding of the emotional needs of people with Alzheimer’s.
Troxell’s writing is accessible and compassionate. While the subject matter is heavy, the tone of the book is hopeful, and it provides clear examples of how caregivers can improve their own mental health while providing better care.
Troxell addresses the needs of both the patient and the caregiver, offering holistic guidance that incorporates emotional, physical, and psychological support.
Some readers may find that the book’s focus on Alzheimer’s leaves out other forms of dementia. While much of the advice is universally applicable, there are occasional moments where the content feels very specific to Alzheimer’s.
A few readers have mentioned that some of the concepts can feel repetitive. The core principles are reiterated throughout the book, which, while reinforcing the key ideas, can sometimes make the reading feel a bit redundant.
Overall, A Dignified Life is a must-read for anyone involved in caring for someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia. It provides a deep understanding of the emotional landscape of caregiving while offering practical advice that can immediately be applied. Its strength lies in its unwavering commitment to human dignity and the belief that those with Alzheimer’s can live meaningful, joyful lives. Whether you’re a professional caregiver, a family member, or simply someone looking to understand the experience of those living with dementia, Troxell’s book is both a guide and a source of hope.
I was invited by snail mail to attend a lunch and talk at Ivy Park Senior Living, where I had the pleasure of experiencing both a delicious meal and an insightful presentation from David Troxell. The talk, which dove deep into the compassionate principles outlined in his book, was both thought-provoking and inspiring where he solidified the key ideas of his caregiving philosophy and provided a platform for real-time interaction and insight into dementia care. Based on the general themes Troxell frequently emphasizes in his work, we got a few key takeaways from his talk that align well with his book.
During the talk, Troxell emphasized the same core principle from his book—the importance of forming a genuine, empathetic connection with residents. He highlighted how caregivers must actively listen to their loved ones and truly understand their emotions, even if the words they use may not always be coherent. The conversation around this theme would stress that people with Alzheimer’s or dementia are still capable of experiencing a full range of emotions and treating them with respect and understanding can make a profound difference in their quality of life.
In speaking directly to me and others there at Ivy Park that afternoon, Troxell shared practical strategies not only for providing better care, but also for managing the emotional toll caregiving can take. He talked about the need for caregivers to be mindful of their own mental health and to recognize when they need a break. In his talk, he emphasized how vital self-care is for ensuring that caregivers can continue to provide compassionate, sustainable care.
One aspect of Troxell’s method that resonated during the Ivy Park Senior Living talk is his emphasis on person-centered care. He discussed the importance of getting to know each resident, friend or family member beyond their diagnosis—learning about their life story, passions, and hobbies—and using that information to personalize the care they receive. Troxell often advocates for caregivers to engage in activities that are meaningful to the person, such as playing music they enjoyed in their youth or reminiscing about old family traditions. This approach enriches the caregiving experience and fosters a deeper sense of purpose for the individual.
In his talk, Troxell touched on the significance of celebrating the small moments. Even if the individual is unable to express themselves clearly or consistently, moments of connection—whether through a smile, a brief moment of eye contact, or a shared activity—are incredibly valuable. This theme aligns with his core philosophy that every moment is an opportunity for dignity and love.
Troxell spoke about the role of community in dementia care. The atmosphere of a senior living facility, as demonstrated in Ivy Park, can either enhance or hinder the well-being of residents. He stressed the importance of cultivating a warm, inclusive community where not just caregivers, but also fellow residents, can support and uplift one another. Building a strong, compassionate community fosters a sense of belonging for both residents and staff.
His talk was aimed at a diverse group, Troxell touched on the importance of cultural sensitivity when providing dementia care. Recognizing and respecting cultural differences and incorporating culturally relevant practices into care plans are essential for creating an environment where everyone feels understood and valued.
Troxell’s talk at Ivy Park Senior Living underscored the overarching message of his book: that dementia care must be driven by compassion, respect, and a commitment to preserving dignity. He encouraged caregivers to continuously educate themselves, stay patient, and embrace each resident as a unique individual with their own story to tell.
Through his engaging talk, Troxell left the audience feeling empowered to approach others diagnosed with this disease not just as a task, but as an opportunity to enrich the lives of those with Alzheimer’s and dementia, fostering a nurturing environment where all are treated as they deserve to be—dignified and valued.
