Relationship Cheat Sheet
Hello friends! The next time we meet, we will be in the midst of the first two weeks of Venus Retrograde which begins on July 22nd. As you may remember, Venus is the planet of love, relationships, luxury, and earthly matters which involve the heart. When a planet retrogrades, it steps back into the shadows bringing forth anything in that arena we want our attention on. While it could bring things to work on, we could actually also look at it as a chance to reveal our strengths. Like a test to prove our competence. Think about when you’ve studied really well for a test, doesn’t it feel awesome to turn over the paper and see all the questions are the exact ones you’ve studied for? You breeze through it and actually feel really excited by the challenge!
So, this week we are going to get ahead of the game and get our relationships all locked and loaded and ready for the big event by giving you all the answers to the test!
Real-Life Memos From the Universe
This article actually comes on the heels of a session in my own practice that I didn’t feel went especially well. When two people are not particularly astrologically compatible it can be a real bummer for them, they see the chart pull up with red all over it, which probably echoes the feelings they already had about levels of incompatibility and the reason they sought me out in the first place. In fact, that’s exactly why a lot of Synastry astrologers won’t show clients the combined charts. I do. I want them to see what I see. Because to me, that’s a moment of excitement—Ohh look at all the work they get to do, all the growth and transformation that gets to take place! Because I think spiritual work is FUN! Anyone else? No? Ok, just me then. But yes, I think all of that can translate to some people as W-O-R-K.
I can’t promise people ease and happily ever after in every relationship (as much as I want to), because the truth is from an astrological level, that’s not really what they are meant for. Relationships are our mirrors, our training grounds, the places we learn and grow the most, which means yes sometimes they are uncomfortable. The level of discomfort can depend on the astrological components, some signs, and people are just more compatible as couples. It happens. It doesn’t mean there can’t be growth AND love. The two are not mutually exclusive.
Think about your closest friends, I bet you have been through some struggles with them. Maybe a really crazy work situation, experience, or travel scenario. I bet you’ve even had to have some tough conversations with them at some point, or disagreements. Think of your least close friends. I bet you haven’t really experienced much with them, right? Occasional coffee meetups don’t always equal time-tested and enduring friendships. But challenges do! And so, it is in our relationships. Challenges=growth. Growth=connection. Connection=good relationships.
So, this week and into the retrograde remember that. Even if your relationship feels tough, think of it as a process of growing as opposed to splitting apart. You can use this time and these tests to show your knowledge and make you stronger or you can let it tear you down and maybe even apart.
Now don’t get me wrong, if your relationship was already rounding its last lap, and retrograde helps it reach the finish line of an ending, that’s something we want to honor. Some relationships are worth the work, and some are not meant to be or have simply run their course. Yet I’m willing to bet if that is describing your relationship, you already know that, and if you aren’t sure, this is a great week to get some clarity!
Also, let us remember, EVERY relationship has value. Even the ones that are not the most naturally compatible or don’t last a lifetime. We grow, we learn, and we love. That’s all there is to it.
Yet, with all that being said, let’s give the Venus Retrograde and our relationships an extra gentle touch this week, shall we? What do you say? Awesome!
Here we go!
Weekly To-Do List:
If you are in a relationship, use these questions towards your current relationship, if you are single, think of past ones for growth purposes or use it to manifest the future one you want! So instead of “what could you improve on” or “biggest challenges” use “What challenges have you already learned and would rather not repeat” So if your ex had a substance abuse problem, that is something you’ve learned about and are not interested in repeating, so acknowledge that is something that would make your “Deal Breaker” list. Already learned that lesson, thank you, next! You can also use it as an opportunity to see how much you have learned from relationships, the good, the bad, and the in-between.
Take it a step further and think of something you WOULD like to learn from a future relationship like “ I would love to learn how to relax more on vacation” a calm, cool, and collected Libra for example, might be able to teach you just that! That’s where relationships are fun, they can teach us things we might not otherwise stumble across on our own. So enjoy this exercise, and have some fun with it!
- Check-in with your current relationship- What are some things you really love about that person?
- What are some things you really like about yourself? Positive qualities and attributes you bring to the relationship or to your life in general.
- What are some things they do really well as a partner or within the relationship?
- What are some things you do really well as a partner within the relationship?
- What are the best parts of the relationship?
- What have you learned from or about the relationship so far? How have you both grown?
- Where are the parts that you struggle with in the relationship? Both as individuals and as a couple?
- If you were to guess, and put on your oracle hat for a second, what situations would you predict could come up for your relationship during the retrograde?
- Using your strengths, how could you prepare for that?
- Using your strengths how could you overcome that? For example, if communication is an issue, how could you use the emotional connection you have to each other, to develop more heart-centered communication?
- What do you want to learn and improve from this Venus retrograde?
- If you could wave a magic wand, what things would you improve on in the relationship?
- What are three things you two could do, to make that magic wand image a reality? Brainstorm, get creative, and have fun!
Pro Tip:
No relationship is perfect. That is what makes them so fun! If they were perfect day in and day out oh man, how boring would that be! And if we had never had a difficult relationship, we would never be able to appreciate the great ones! So be gentle with yourself, your partner, and your relationship as a whole. There are no cheat codes to achieving perfection in a relationship, there is no guidebook. We do the best we can, then we learn something new, and hopefully use that information moving forward. So it’s ok. It’s all ok. If your relationship is tricky, if your relationship is smooth, if it lands somewhere in between. It. Is. All. Good.
Astrology is meant to empower us, so if you’re not particularly astrologically compatible, or you don’t agree on every single thing, that’s ok. You can use the energetics that you know and learn from the chart to make the relationship the best it can be. Maybe you won’t agree on every little thing, Good! That would be boring. And I will tell you, as a professional, often the people who do agree on every little thing and don’t have disagreements, have no idea what to do when that flow streak runs out, which it will, because we are humans. I have people wanting to break up over one very small fight because they’ve never had one before and take it as a marker of their incompatibility! Not even!
Plus, don’t we all know those couples who agree with each other completely even when they are both totally wrong? They almost encourage each other’s bad behavior and there is absolutely zero growth achieved. If anything, they make each other worse. That’s why sometimes it’s good to challenge each other, to disagree, heck even to fight (within reason.) Let us strive against one another like gods! As Nietzsche would say. The diamond is revealed through the pressure. If your relationship is tough, thrive under the pressure. Learn from it. And if at the end of the day, it just isn’t for you, that’s ok too, just let it go. Lessons were learned, and growth was had, that sounds like a success to me. A race well run is a successful race regardless.
So don’t worry. Try not to take it all so seriously. Enjoy the ride a little and when it gets bumpy, welcome the challenge! You just created your Venus Retrograde test cheat sheet. So, use it!
Horoscopes:
Aries: The planet Chiron, the wounded healer archetype, is still hanging out in your house. Which means you could still be working through some of the heaviness of past wounds. But hopefully, your bag is starting to feel a little lighter, dear Aries, as on the other side of this you will likely feel free as a bird!
As the leader of the pack, you need to travel light, while your ability to carry other’s bags is uncanny, as the guide you need to be unencumbered. It’s hard to lead effectively while carrying everyone else’s packs for an undetermined amount of time. You need to be and feel free and unencumbered to successfully follow your path.
So, keep healing, keep shedding layers, and don’t forget to lighten your load! While you may have the ability to help others carry their loads, that doesn’t mean you HAVE to or even that you should.
Taurus: You may be feeling the need to stretch and expand. Like coming out of a cave after a long winter’s nap. Uranus can give you the feeling of pushing barriers and coming out of your comfort zone. Luxury, naps, and rest are all Taurus words, but sometimes we have to come out of our cozy caves for the sake of growth. If you are feeling called to do that now, then take that step or maybe even leap! You can do it!
Gemini: Nice and easy Gemini. Now is a great time for quiet reflection, time in the great outdoors, and contemplation of the next steps. Your speedometer is usually set at 100, but right now let it slide back down, allow yourself to slow down, sit back and allow the breeze to take you where it wants to go. Movement happens always, even when we don’t put effort into it, so things may be manifesting for you and your relationship behind the scenes. Take time to enjoy that feeling.
Cancer: Communication is on your side! Mercury, the planet of communication is hanging out with you for a while and it’s your season! Your sense of self is on the rise, and you may feel an urge to really speak your truth! That’s awesome. As a Cancer sometimes you can bend to other people’s wills, and morph into their container, especially in relationships. But your voice needs and thoughts matter too, and the more you speak them, the more the container of a relationship can mold into your perfect fit! Now is your time Cancer, so speak loud and speak proud. Tell the world what you want.
Leo: You my fiery friend will be the keeper of the retrograde. It’s a big job but you are certainly up to the challenge. It might feel a little bit more intensified for you, feelings around how you are seen, what role you take, and who plays the authority figure, are all relationship topics that you may begin to feel. Leo feels the need to take charge, to be in control, but sometimes it’s nice to let someone else take the wheel for a while. See ways that you can let your partner be in the spotlight and the driver’s seat.
Or perhaps you are feeling the opposite, feeling caged in by a partner who wants to dethrone you, now is the time to communicate how you are feeling. Is there a way to tip the scales more toward a balanced partnership? Or maybe this just isn’t the relationship for you. Leo needs to lead. It’s just who they are. Ongoing power struggles with no resolution in relationships can cause unnecessary drain and strain so take time to feel your feelings around your current relationship and the ones you want.
Virgo: You’re not afraid of a challenge and you LOVE tests. This retrograde may actually be an exciting time and prospect for you. However, when things go off course or don’t follow the plan, that is where your discomfort lies. See if you can embrace that a little during this time. Studying for the test is great, but we can’t ever know all the answers. So, approach new and arising questions with curiosity, you don’t always have to have the answers.
Libra: Libra your vibes are set at chill. You aren’t letting anything interrupt your good vibes. I get it, you’ve been through it with some of the former months’ upheavals. I love this energy for you. Sometimes Libra can get so caught up in balancing other people’s energies and scales, they forget that they can actually achieve the perfect balance themselves. Sometimes setting your own energetic frequency and then allowing others to join that, is the best method for partnership. Let people join you where you are instead of trying to balance yourself to their level. If someone comes in wanting to tip your scales, simply say no thank you. Good vibes only.
Scorpio: I feel a sweet treat coming your way Scorpio. Literally and figuratively. I’m feeling like now is a time to explore your sexuality in a really fun, light, and yes sweet way. That is the actual buzzword I’m hearing. “Sweet.” So shift some of the brooding intensity towards a really high, and nice vibration. Be extra supportive, kind, and loving during this time. Get used to feeling the energy fluctuate between dark and light, intense and upbeat. You are the master of transformation and that includes energetics. So think about introducing some sweet treats into your bedroom routine, candy, edible stimulants, light colors, costumes, and even silliness. Make it as fun as possible. Go all in. Go to extremes, after all, that is what you are good at!
Sagittarius: Brooding intensity is usually Scorpios’ bag, but this week I feel it coming strongly from you. Pondering life choices and moves, getting clear on what you actually want. It may feel a bit like a dark cloud interfering in your usually sunlit space, but sometimes that is for the best. It makes me think of the story of one Everest climber who due to weather was stuck in his tent an extra day, unable to summit. He was angry, uncomfortable, restless, and cursing his fate. Then he realized, one of his shoes had something loose on it! If he had climbed that day, he surely would have slipped and fallen.
He was able to correct it or find new shoes (I don’t remember which) and successfully finished the climb the following day. Times of reflection can be real literal and figurative life savers. Before we take big steps and go on big adventures, we have to make sure our equipment, once again literal and figurative, is well prepared. So take advantage of this time, you will have plenty of time to hop back on the mountain afterward, more prepared than ever.
Capricorn: You’re a barrel of laughs this week! Tests? No problem. Lessons? All about it. Relationship cheat sheet? Locked and loaded! You are ready for whatever comes next but don’t forget to slow down and recalculate if necessary. Also remember this is a relationship, not an actual test, so emotions play a big role as well. Tune into that as you move forward.
Aquarius: You feel a little lost. Like you aren’t quite sure which way to go. Do you go left, right, or center? You might end up staying stuck exactly where you are without a decision. No matter which way you go there will be growth. Ready to end the relationship? That’s ok. Want to give it another month or one more talk? That’s fine too! You can do whatever feels right to you. Some actions have consequences but most of our decisions are very free will based, meaning we can take whichever road tickles our fancy. We have a lot more leeway than we realize, yes, even in astrology.
So, take whichever path feels the most unique to you. Other people may have different opinions, but that’s ok, it’s your path. Choose what you like.
Pisces: You’re not alone. I know you are feeling that way right now, sometimes, even when we are in relationships the Earth can be a lonely place. We can feel isolated, alone in our thoughts, trapped within our own minds and bodies. It sucks. What can I say? But it is the human experience, and it is just an illusion. We are constantly surrounded by support, even when we don’t see it. Yet our relationships while not always as in every single moment of the day, should mostly feel like a safe space, our haven, our home, and the arena where we feel the most understood. There should be some level of disagreement, but it shouldn’t be a battleground. We shouldn’t feel unheard, unseen, or completely alone in them.
It’s hard to explain but somehow being in the wrong relationship can feel even more lonely than actually being alone. If that’s how you’re feeling, then communicate that to your partner. They honestly might not even be aware they are making you feel that way. Perhaps they are caught up in work, or family drama, or some other struggle they haven’t shared with you. We all get caught up in our own heads and lives sometimes. It could be a perfect opportunity to communicate more openly with each other and share aspects of each other’s lives.
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