Bye-Bye Venus

Another week, another retrograde! I know it seems like we’ve been having a lot of these lately but this one is especially important for our purposes, as it affects the arena of our love life. Venus, the planet of love, luxury, and Earthly pursuits of pleasure, is stepping out of the spotlight for a few weeks, as it retrogrades in the sign of Leo. Leo is the sign of passion, performance, and leading the way. It is symbolized by the lion, the king of the jungle, the sultan of the safari, the leader of the pride. It can also speak to our public image and self-expression, so with Venus taking on these attributes it may show up as how you present or express yourself in relationships, or how you want them to look to the outside world.

Sometimes in the midst of a performance, we can accidentally lose our authenticity. Actors have to put away many of their personal attributes in order to take on those of a character or to play a specific role. It is what makes beautiful art. But in the realm of our relationships, it can cause us to lose ourselves in playing a role or presenting an image. For example, maybe we get very caught up in the role of “girlfriend/boyfriend/partner /spouse” or in trying to portray the image of the “perfect couple.” We can also look at the roles we play within our relationships, do we always fall into the demure damsel in distress role? Or perhaps we feel the pressure to be the alpha leader who always makes the decisions and has the answers, or the breadwinner and provider.

The retrograde could bring all of these concepts to the forefront, which while enlightening might feel a little uncomfortable. Generally, the first and last two weeks around a retrograde carry the “lion’s share” (pun intended) of the intensity. We are adjusting to the energy coming and going and the universe is setting up and closing out our curriculum for the retrograde period. Think of it like the universe assigning a project. The first two weeks it is giving us the outline, and the things we should be focusing on, then the last few weeks it is checking over our work, seeing if we completed our assignment, and took in the information. If we haven’t, then it can feel especially chaotic for us, like rushing to finish an entire project the night before it is due. Yet if we take note of the assignment, work on it continuously throughout the retrograde and use the final weeks to add finishing touches, we can actually feel very empowered and educated by the retrograde. So that is the vibe we are aiming for this week!

Weekly To-Do List: 

Last week we made our Retrograde Relationship Cheat Sheets, so this week I want to take them one step further by including the Leo-based concepts that might get the spotlight in our love lives. Add these to help you prep for your retrograde project!

• What role do you play in your relationships?
• What role feels the most authentic to you?
• Is there an image you are trying to have your relationship present?
• Is that the genuine nature of the relationship?
• Is your relationship authentic to what you genuinely want?

If you were your most authentic self, outside of anyone else’s opinion or feedback, what would that feel, look, and be like? What decisions would you make? What relationships would you choose? Dig deep to find out!

Pro Tip: 

Sometimes we can get so caught up in our roles and the image we are trying to portray, we begin to believe those things ourselves! We look at our social media page, we take in the feedback of others saying we are “the perfect couple” or we simply get used to playing a role, even if it isn’t the most authentic. That is what we really want to evaluate this week, what is truly aligned and authentic about our lives and loves and what is in the end, more of an image.

I think especially in the world of spirituality/religion or when we are in leadership roles, we can get very wrapped up in trying to portray that image, for example, that we handle everything well, that our relationships are perfect, and that we always make the right decisions. As an astrologer and relationship expert, I certainly know that sense of pressure well. However, I think what makes the most effective leaders, and certainly the most authentic people, are the ones who share their vulnerabilities and consistently use their mistakes to make them better, to elevate themselves. Staying in an incompatible relationship just because it looks good from the outside is not true growth, and I believe people can really pick up on that inauthenticity on some level. Which means at the end of the day, the only one you are probably fooling—is yourself! So this week, let’s get real. Inauthentic roles in relationships don’t serve us or anyone else. I say this week we drop the masks, save the acting for the professionals and get to work on finding our most authentic selves, roles, and relationships.

Horoscopes: 

Aries: This week feels like a whole lot of you saying “Mind your business.” Aries is a leader, the first sign of the zodiac, and as a leader, they are often up for a lot of public scrutiny. When breaking down barriers or forging new pathways there aren’t always going to be a lot of supporters, in fact, quite the opposite, they are likely to run into people trying to slow their progress or stop them altogether.

So, while it is important to take feedback into consideration, for you, your inner authority is always going to be your most effective guide. You simply can’t take everyone’s opinion into consideration. So use this time to find the people in your life that you truly can trust for feedback, but even more so, learn how to tune into that inner authority, yes even in the realm of your relationships.

Taurus: This retrograde is landing squarely in your house of home and family, meaning that might really be where you are feeling the shakeup. Taurus can be very “go with the flow” around their home and family life, if it feels comfy and cozy, they are good with it. Yet that is not always the best place for growth, and sometimes family members and partners can actually keep us somewhat stuck. For example, a well-meaning partner assuring you something isn’t your fault–when maybe it totally is. Or a family member assuring you that you are in the right, when in fact you might be in the wrong.

Our partners and family members should be our safe spaces, but in that, they should also help us on our path of growth and improvement. For example, if you continue to be fired for showing up to work late and not completing tasks, yet your partner assures you that it is not your fault, then you will just go into the next job the same way, thus continuing the pattern of firings. A partner who kindly points out your own patterning and why that might not make for the best employee status or win you any employee of the month awards is actually doing you a big favor in the long run. So that is the energetics you can keep an eye on for your retrograde. Where are you just a little too comfy in your home and family relationships and how can you grow in or out of them?

Gemini:  You are always creative, but this might feel like an especially creative time for you, especially around your communication. You value the sense of freedom of expression above all else, yet sometimes due to others’ perceptions, you feel the need to hinder that. You don’t want to come across as “too much” or “too intense.”

But those are actually qualities that help you get a lot done, that energy makes you unstoppable in a lot of ways. Being hindered is just not the role that fits you best, not that you shouldn’t take others’ feelings into consideration when expressing yourself, but they shouldn’t get to call all the shots either.

A big lesson for Gemini is about finding the people that make them feel held and free at the same time. The people who aren’t overwhelmed by their energy and those who not only don’t try to hold them down but actually help them fly higher. All that being said, every partnership is not going to be for you. You are very unique and need a partner who can appreciate that. So this retrograde take a look at your relationships do they help you feel free, or hinder you from being you?

Cancer: While the second house can represent money and finances, as a relationship astrologer I also view it as value. When a client comes to me with low value or a sense of self-worth, I often see it reflected as wounding in their second house. Money and love are very energetically tied, not always, but often. If someone doesn’t value themselves that can be reflected in what they feel they are worth receiving in either love or finances.

Yes, take a look at your money tree during this time, but also at how that might tie into a sense of worth or value. Cancer especially can fall into the trap of feeling they are only valued through their relationships. As a water sign, they tend to flow into whatever container they are poured into, and when that is a relationship, they can certainly lose themselves in that mold. They can tend towards codependency as well, which is basically assigning your own value, based upon someone else’s opinion or assignment of value to you.

But the true question is, how do you value yourself? The best way to bring in an aligned relationship is to set your own value and then partner with someone who agrees with that assessment. You don’t want to bring in someone to haggle with over your worth because when you do, you will always be on the losing end.

You are valuable all on your own dear Cancer, so this week, try to remember that.

Leo: As the keeper of the retrograde you may be getting a double dose of your own energetic medicine. Leo’s like to lead, that’s just what they do. Yet in the realm of a relationship that can be difficult, especially when others need and deserve the opportunity to practice their own authority.

Most relationships take on natural roles, there is usually someone who is a little more alpha and someone who is a little more passenger seat. Someone who likes to take the lead in planning the family vacation, handling the finances, choosing the wallpaper, whatever it may be. Yet we are moving into a time of equality, gender roles and even gender itself are being redefined and that means some of the old roles and assignments in relationships, no longer fit. So let this be an exciting time of rediscovery.

Let yourself take the passenger seat on some decisions, allow yourself ease and grace, and take time to discover if the role you are playing in your relationship, is actually the one you want to.

Virgo: Life is but a dream, meaning you don’t have to take it all so seriously. Virgo likes rules, boundaries, and order but relationships often are anything but. The role of the 12^th house is to let things blur a little, let dreams and the abstract lead the way. Instead of focusing on what hard and fast things you want your relationships to look like(married, house with a picket fence, 401K, 2.5 kids etc.) focus on what you want it to feel like. Do you want it to feel exciting, loving, solid, and passionate?

Have you thought about that lately? If not, take a walk on the ethereal side and imagine what you want your dream relationships to feel like. Give them some fuzzy borders and some unclear boundaries. See how that feels for a while, you may find you like it!

Libra: Your love for peace can sometimes tip you over into the world of conformity, especially in your personal relationships. You’d rather not rock the boat, so you let things go, let things slide, and allow yourself to fit into roles that maybe aren’t your best fit.

Your peacemaking ability is uncanny and certainly needed in this world, but you are important too. Your needs matter and your relationship should feel like a perfect fit, not something you’ve bent and twisted yourself into. This week allow yourself to examine if the roles and relationships in your lives are of your choosing or if they are just something you’ve allowed.

Scorpio: If it doesn’t feel aligned then it’s time to let it go. Scorpio’s stinger is great for getting them out of tough spots, but it is not always the most graceful way to exit things. A great lesson Scorpio can learn is to feel when the watery tides are changing and allow themselves to ride the next wave out. If your job is feeling too restrictive, then begin looking for another. If your relationship is feeling rocky then have the conversations now before a rock bottom hits. Your stinger should be used for emergencies only, and many emergencies can be avoided with a little forethought and planning.

So, this week try to feel into that intuitive watery aspect to see what in your life could use a tweak and what things might be indicating it’s time for you to move on. That way you can ride the wave out before the hurricane hits.

Sagittarius: You may be preparing to embark on a new journey, whether external or internal, but something big and exciting is brewing! Unfortunately, not everyone or everything can come along on your big adventure. If something is causing you to feel held down or held back, now is the time to address that in full, because if not the retrograde will be all too glad to do it for you. Yikes. You are a free spirit, that’s ok! You are meant to move and shake things up and share information.

Your lifetime might hold lots of different relationships, things that are a good fit for parts or chapters of your life, but then maybe not others. That is not a reflection of you or your ability to have a healthy, balanced relationship, some signs just follow that life trajectory. So don’t take an ended relationship as a “failure” or a reflection on you, some things and people are with us for a reason or a season and are not necessarily meant to be lifelong.

Capricorn: What is the problem? You are going to tell us what the problem is whether we want to hear it or not! Yikes. Not exactly the most chill vibes for you right now. Capricorn is not always known for their emotional responses, sometimes they can come across as cold, calculating, and to the point, which in the realm of relationships is not always well received.

You are great at finding the lessons in trials and tribulations, but everyone does not process those things the same way you do. Some people need time to clear out the emotional remnants of an experience before they get to the takeaway portion of the lesson. That’s ok, everyone is different.

So, this week even if you are seeing exactly why your partner was wrong or what they need to do differently, use a spoonful of sugar with your approach. Also, keep in mind while it may feel like it, you don’t, in reality, know everything, everyone’s experience and perspective are valid and there are times when the emotional experience itself—is the lesson.

Aquarius: There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Expressing yourself is not going to be the end of the world, in fact cleaning out your emotional house every now and then, allows things not to pile up. The retrograde is hitting your house of relationships so there is a double focus on feelings for you. You like your relationships a certain way, easy. Yet emotional aspects create connections and avoidance is not always your ally. This week see different ways you can focus on the positive aspects of emotional connection and long-term relationships.

Pisces: It’s the war of the worlds, my friends. Ok, not exactly but it might feel like it with Mars paring off with Saturn who is retrograding and hanging out in your sign right now. You are experiencing a lot of connections upheaval probably in the realm of spirituality. It may feel a bit like you are coming out of a dream state, things you otherwise didn’t notice are now suddenly very prominent. Karmic relationships may be coming to a head, and it may feel like the veil has been lifted on your relationships. This could cause Mars to act up and create an end to anything that no longer is in your best interest. The combination of the two could really feel abrupt but ride that wave, my friend, it is all in your best interest.

It is important to see relationships as they truly are, serving us or not. While they may seem like grey areas when we examine them, they actually are fairly black and white. Do they serve us or not? Do they elevate us or not? Do they make us feel free or held down? Do they lift us up or tear us down? Even get to the basics, how do you feel around that person? Safe or uncomfortable, like you are walking on eggshells? When things are hazy or confusing sometimes it’s best to just get back to the basics. Try to let that be your guide.

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