By Alex Banx
Los Angeles, CA (The Hollywood Times) 04/26/2024
Today, Sunday, April 28, 2024, marks the final day of Lesbian Visibility Week in the US and around the world.
Lesbian Visibility Week 2024 started on Monday, April 22, and ends today, Sunday, April 28.
According to Google, the idea of Lesbian Visibility Week originated in New Zealand in 1980. Lesbian Visibility Week was first celebrated in West Hollywood, CA 10 years later. Lesbian Visibility Day (April 26th) became an annual event throughout the US in 2008. Then, in 2020, the publisher of the UK lesbian magazine, DIVA, made Lesbian Visibility Week official in the US and the UK and now, Lesbian Visibility Week is celebrated on every continent in the world.
This year, Lesbian Visibility Week USA was powered by the Curve Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to championing lesbian, queer, trans, and non-binary stories and culture carrying on the legacies of Deneuve and Curve magazine.
It is no secret that the word lesbian, outside the context of a porn category or a hot straight woman playing a lesbian on TV, makes most people uncomfortable.
Lesbian is a dirty word. It’s a sexy word.
Is it a transphobic word? Is it a biphobic word?
It’s a lie. It’s the result of trauma.
It’s outdated. It’s reserved for old white women.
But is it? Who decided that? Who agreed?
The most privileged people in society generally set the consensus.
Not many will disagree that misogyny and homophobia are not prevalent in most societies, so the widespread stories of what “lesbian” is, it’s probably not coming from the people who are most negatively affected by the intersection of misogyny and homophobia.
While the mainstream world will continue to predominately side with hate culture regarding most minorities, a hate that is often internalized, it takes a village to uplift the ostracized.
I don’t know how many cis straight women say they don’t trust other women, and sadly, these are typically women who are currently being abused by their cis male partners.
But, with age comes experience. More and more of these anti-woman women that I have encountered have shared stories of abusive mothers and high girls who bullied them.
While most generalizations usually don’t represent any near the majority, they do represent a few. Transphobic lesbians most definitely exist. Lesbiphobic transphobic people probably exist. There aren’t enough lesbians in the world for lesbians to not be open to dating bi or pan women. Math doesn’t work for lesbians. Masc gay men are notoriously transphobic, femme-phobic, and misogynistic. A lot of more recently out queer-identified people tend to be quite vocal about their disapproval of lesbian as word or people that should still exist. There’s a large vocal privilege chunk of the rainbow that wants to force us all into a new binary or into hiding. Some find “lesbian” invalidating to their own identities.
“I have two failed hetero marriages and now and I’m poly, pan, and queer and anyone who isn’t is close-minded and conforming to hetero norms & everyone should want to have sex with me.”
I’ve heard this many times in recent years in not too many ways.
Much like the hetero-identified cis man who picks up gay men in secret that everyone knows about, our identities, our activities, and where are hearts are, are not always in line.
For most lesbians, part of what our identity means is that our activities and our hearts are in line. We cannot sacrifice self-love, to hope that a world that does not respect us because we are gay, trans, or non-binary, to hopefully be nicer to us. We will not sacrifice our self-love and self-respect to make our haters more comfortable.
“I wear lesbian as a badge of honor. All the hardship I/we’ve been through. It has been earned.” – Cin Rivera, Playwright, Lesbian.
There’s a meme with the boss man yelling at the dad, the dad goes home and yells at mom, the mom yells at child, and the child yells at the cat. Hopefully, the cat showed the child whose boss, but the meme didn’t go that far.
The queer community also has these tiers. How can I tear down to lift myself up?
Sadly, “queer” has become more of a status symbol than about who we love, sexually and platonically. Identifying as queer can also be a pass for toxic and manipulative behaviors within the community.
The mainstream world not believing lesbians exist or should exist was one thing. The GBTQ community reinforcing lesbian hate and negative lesbian stereotypes has become another.
Trans women became the scapegoats for cis male insecurity and depravity in the mainstream world. Lesbians became the diversion away from predatory and toxic behaviors of the entitled individuals within the queer community. Lesbian voices have always been outnumbered. Lesbian contributions to the empowerment of the LGBTQ are easily hidden and ignored. Lesbian-identified women can be lesbiphobic just the same an African American man can be anti-Black and women that can’t help but to remind everyone that they’re not like other women; whatever that means to them. People’s internal conflicts are what we’re fighting against.
I was once permanently muted during a Lesbian “Support” Zoom session hosted by one of the newer hosts’ of LA’s Lesbian Hour Happy Meetup group, let’s call her Janey British, for unpacking the lies spread about lesbians regarding the myth of gold-star superiority and the hatred projected at lesbians from women including lesbians who they assume hate them because they are not gold-stars; a myth perpetuated by assumptions, personal insecurities, and a lack of experience listening to actual lesbians.
We live in a patriarchal planet. Most people are raised with heteronormative lifestyle conditioning. Homophobia is real. It is not easier for any to come out younger or to realize sooner. That just means more years of homophobic oppression. It’s not something that should be held against anyone. Figuring out who they are at 14, 20, 40, or 60 are all great as long as they were not intentionally harming others along their journey of self-discovery. The important thing is that they figured it out. Experienced lesbians know this.
There are asexual lesbians. Being a lesbian isn’t just about sex. Although, that is a huge bonus.
Do people who believe the idea of gold-star superiority in the lesbian community think lesbians make an exception for sexual assault?
Lesbians are not a courtroom full of old cis white men in the South deciding on how to take away women’s rights.
Internalized lesbiphobia is a huge part of why we need lesbian visibility.
People who want transphobes to be synonymous with “lesbian” are another reason we need lesbian visibility. Some lesbians are trans.
I’ve met trans women and gay men who say they shy away from discussing the toxic people in their communities that fit the negative stereotypes or are otherwise problematic because it gives credibility to the bigoted lies spread by politicians. Lesbians can’t shy away because transphobic lesbians are emphasized every time the word lesbian is mentioned, especially within the queer community.
Lesbians have and always will defend the rights and lives of the entire LGBTQIA2S+ community. Spiritually mature lesbians will not defend or ignore toxic behavior. These problems will not go away if they’re not addressed.
The term TERF, trans-exclusionary radical feminist, is basically limited to lesbians. Every time someone says lesbian, someone else shouts TERF. This term is usually not assumed of the average person or even the average cis woman, just lesbians. Transphobic women exist. Being a woman does make someone a feminist. Transphobic lesbians exist. She’s still disqualified from being a feminist. A cis woman’s sexual and/or romantic attraction to cis women does not make her a feminist any more than a cis male’s does.
Where do these terms come from and how does their popularity spread so wide and fast?
These women are usually white, Americans and Europeans, over 50, racists, and terrible in countless other ways. They’re Karen’s. They’re trans-exclusionary lesbian Karen’s: TELKs. They’re not radical or feminists. They do not represent anywhere near the majority. They do not even represent the majority of older white lesbians. They only represent themselves.
The support for lesbians and Lesbian Visibility Week, was nice while it lasted. It takes a lot to stand up and show support for a word and community that is so widely demonized, equally fetishized, and minimally celebrated: LESBIAN.
We adopt new words over time and definitions of words change meaning. As the word “lesbian” continues to be cringe for many, other terms are often preferred.
Sapphic made a comeback and is still very inclusive of various genders and sexualities including attraction to cis men.
Dyke is still loved and hated by sapphics. Feminine women in particular often feel less aligned with the term.
Butch is popular in some regions, and studs and mascs and other terms shouldn’t be assumed because of someone’s presentation.
Lesbian is beautiful.
Lesbian is unique.
Lesbian is intimidating.
Lesbian is strong.
Lesbian is vulnerable.
Lesbians are loved.
Even during Lesbian Visibility Week, support for lesbians continues to be minimal in Los Angeles. Even lesbians are afraid to be seen and judged for being at lesbian-centric events because of the lesbiphobia within the LGBTQ community. However, West Hollywood showed support Saturday, by screening Ahead of the Curve, hosted by the Real L Word’s Rose Garcia.
Ahead of the Curve tells the story of Curve Magazine founder, Franco Stevens. Franco founded the first and longest-running full-color lesbian magazine.
After the screening, Franco Stevens and the filmmakers, Jen Rainin, Franco’s wife, (lesbian power couple goals), stuck around to answer audience questions moderated by Marier Cartier.
A panel of power dykes is always nice!
You can catch this inspirational film, Ahead of the Curve, on Netflix today! (As long as you’re reading this in 2024).
San Francisco showed the most support by lighting their City Hall with the Lesbian Pride flag colors, orange, white, and pink.
